not so merry christmas

yes, christmas is finally here!


i've been waiting fot it the whole year. i always do as a matter of fact but i guess sometimes i get a lil too excited and tend to forget how not so wow christmas can also be. for example here i am now blogging and on facebook expecting someone i know to come online and entertain me when it's christmas! i should be opening presents, stuffing myself with food, opening more presents and i dunno, having fun? i haven't even opened any presents yet! well, except the one from my parents which i wrapped myself only to open it a few minutes later. yea, i knew what i was gonna get. it was an accident actually. my maid was suppose to wrap it but she didn't know how and she also had no idea that it was for me so she asked me to do it. but still, i wrapped it myself for heavens sake! that's just sooo not fun. this definately isint how i expected christmas to be. all i think i'm just gonna go sleep. 

watching you's the only drug i need...

miracles happen once in a while :D

HALLELUJAH! 
7A's BABY!! 


i'm still in shock. this is like the bestest thing that has ever happened to me this whole year. honestly, what a way to end this not so great, in other words sucky year! ok so there i was as scared as ever and letting everyone else cut through me to get their results first cos well, everyone in front of me got straight A's and i was so scared that someone had to not get in my class right? what if one of that someone is me? but then manggai took it for me and she just started "woo-ing" and she like "see sheena, you did it!" and i was there like a total idiot with no expression on my face except shock. the only thing that was running on my mind was "please don't be a mistake, please don't be a mistake." yes, my self esteem is low. very low at times especially  when it comes to these kind of things. shocking thing was norliza, who's my class teacher, said that she's so proud of me and that i've definately worked very hard and that i'm an example of a person who never gave up! HAHAHA. me, an example?! pffttt. she probably said that because i only got 2A's for my trials. yea, i was that bad. oh well, it's all over now and boy am i glad. :)




yes, i teared. never thought i would. ever, but i did...

watching you's the only drug i need :)

stupid exam

i. am. freakin. out. literally. my hands are so cold and i'm not exaggerating, trust me. 

i'm scared. like really really scared. what if all my friends get and i'm the only one who didnt? that is like my biggest fear. no actually my biggest fear is getting 5A's 2B's. i dreamt about it. twice! please tell me that it's just a dream and not some kind of stupid sign or whatever. six a's is ok but five?! that's just bad. real bad. i doubt i'll be getting any sleep tonight.

sucky part bout tomorrow? i'm gonna be there early. like really early! gonna follow my dad when he's on his way to work. what in the world am i suppose to do there so freakin early? for all you know i might just get a heart attack, or fits or something! you never know what could happen when you're nervous. haha ok maybe i'm taking this way over the limit but i don't wanna go so early! what i want is to go back early so that people won't be able to ask what i got. haih, stupid exam. make people get all scared like it's the end of the world if you dont get straight a's. it's not, obviously but still, everyone keeps saying pmr is nothing and that it's so easy so if i don't get all A's how dumb am i? i mean if it's that easy i should be able to excell right? haih, this is just so depressing.

all i need is faith, trust and a little bit of pixie dust. damn i dont have pixie dust! -.-

watching you's the only drug i need...

yes i can crap. a lot

yea, im bored. and i felt like blogging suddently, i dunno why since i almost always have nothing to blog about other than my usual moanings. i just realised i do that a lot. damn i have got to stop. soo anyways, found this thingy and i think its funny so, yeaa. 

wanna know what i'm doing right know? i'm literally staring at my computer thinking if i have anything to say at all but i'm realising now that nop. i've got nothing. i should really go sleep. i'm starting to crap -.-

what if i don't get? 

watching you's the only drug i need :)

neal caffrey :D

i now find myself quite obsessed in watching white collar. why wouldn't i when the hero is ohmagosh freakin hot! you could say that the main reason i watch the show is because of him :)

i always wonder, is there a hot guy at every corner of a street in america? i mean they have countless movies,shows, advertisements, and in every one of it there will be at least one hot guy. why? how? it's so not fair. not that we don't have any hot guys here. of course we do but compared to them yeaaaa thery're way ahead. haih. 

blue eyed guys.... wow. seriously, they make me go all weak just by looking into them :)

watching you's the only drug i need...

you make me one happy kid :)

honestly i do. i know i've complaint and sometimes not intentionally say i hate them, i really don't. how could i when they give me everything i need? so yea i guess this post is for them eventhough they have got no idea that i even have a blog. i don't think my mom even knows what a blog is. lol. yes there obviously is a reason to why i'm saying this. i feel soo omg bad that i spent so much of their money for shopping. i couldn't help it, there were too many things i wanted and and it was so prettty. i think this is the best christmas. shopping wise i mean. 

i just wanted to say

thank you for all the ways

for the patience

for the endurance to raise me day after day

i will be your mildstone 

a testament to strength

from all the timeless love and energy you spent.

i<3 you 

watching you is the only drug i need...

i'm not smart. but i'm also not dumb

results are coming out next week.
great.
awesome.
that's exactly what i want so that everyone can ask me what i got on christmas!

well it's a whole other story if i get all A's but if i don't well there's the whole problem. i dont want people hogging all over me asking what i got and how i felt. everyone thinks i'm this smart ass freak who has never gotten lower than a B. hahaha well how very wrong they are. i'm like the total opposite! ok maybe not totally but i'm definately not that. i'm so freakin scared right now! i keep telling my prents i'm not and that i don't care anymore cos what's done is done but its all bullcrap! i'm a total mess here. i'm already crapping here who know's who else i'm going to moan to next. most probably my sister. she has got no choice but to listen anyway. haih

7A's 7A's 7A's... i need 7A's!

watching you is the only drug i need...

sales.. don't we all love them?

it feels awesome when you see something you like and the price is like whoa but then you find out that it's on sale and the price now makes you go yay! my point: I LOVE SHOPPING WHEN THERE'S A SALE. but funny how you feel like you've bought so many clothes but only to realise "that's it?!" when you reach back home to take off the tags. Being me, i got to admit that i'm a money minded person so i'll tell myself, that's enough for today but then totally regret it when i go home and that i should have bought something which i really wanted but stupidly didnt.

well, i'm done with my christmas shopping. i think. unless my mom wants to o some more which i have no complaints. lol this is like the earliest shopping i've done for christmas. so my dress this year is...... black. it's quite simple actually, like a mini dress so yea. my aunty started crapping on how you shouldnt wear black on chrstmas and yadaa yadaa yadaa but whatever. she's not my mum. thank gosh for that! i don't like people who are too superstitious. kinda annoying. oh yea, i've planned this year's theme colour and its... PURPLE! why? cos my hall is half purple and my dad bought these new lights which are also purple so a christmas tree decorated in purple would be perfect! i am a genius :) all i have to do now is plan with my mum.


why do i have to be a person who cares about other people's opinion more than my own?

watching you is the only drug i need

why do i try so hard to please everyone?

i hate it when i have to lie . 
especially when it was't even necessary. 

watching you is the only drug i need...

tis the season to be jolly :D

ITS.. DECEMBER!


i absolutely loove this month. who dosn't? tis the season to be jolly right? i mean come on, break from school, shopping, baking, shopping, caroling, shopping again and then there's putting up the christmas tree, decorations everywhere and presents!! i just can't wait. it would be awesome if it actually snowed here but too bad. I've already started humming christmas carols and planning this year's colours for the christmas tree. last year was blue ans silver so maybe this year will be green or red and gold.

sucky part bout this month... RESULTS! damn they had to come out this month. seriously. it's like totally gonna ruin my whole christmas if i don't get 7A's. to be honest, i don't really care what i get but i just don't want to be the only one not getting when all my friends are there celebrating their victory. plus, there's also my parents. i can tell that they really want me to do well. they may not show it and tell me they don't care but yeah right. obviously deep down they're gonna care like a lot! they're saying that it's gonna come out either on the 27th or 28th which probably means i'll be so freakin worried bout what i'm gonna get to actually enjoy my christmas but then again, if it came out earlier and if i dont get 7A's well, there goes my christmas cos i'm gonna be so bummed about it. let's just hope it dosn't dampen my christmas spirit. i really really don't want that. wonder what i'll get this year.. i really need a new handphone so i'm keeping my fingers crossed :)

everthing's okay now. right?

watching you is the only drug i need...

i absolutely hate this part right here

i guess i saw it coming. and maybe i deserve this. i just wish i didn't though. i guess you guys will know me as the totally heartless bitch now huh? great. awesome. i'm a bitch. something i've always wanted to be so that everyone will hate me! wow, sarcasm, really makes you feel a whole lot worse. i should really cut myself some slack. i mean, it's not my fault actually. right? yea so umm, go ahead and do or think what you want cos i dont give a damn! owh who am i kidding, i still feel like shit -.-

watching you is the only drug i need...

it's not you, it's me :(

please don't hate me. well, you can if you want to. i guess you have the rights after what i did. i wouldn't blame you cos i know i just made things a lot harder and well i know i've said this for like i don't know how many times but its the only thing i can say. i'm really really sorry and it's not you. honestly, it's not. okay maybe a little, just a little but the rest is all me. i know i gave one of the lamest excuse but it's so true. it sucks how once you fall sometimes it's just so hard to get back up because you're just afraid then you're gonna end up falling again. 


i feel like shit :(

watching you is the only drug i need...

I JUST DON'T KNOW!

i'm an idiot. funny how i just realised.

how was i the only one who never saw it coming?

was it really that obvious?

how do i feel? i dunno. i seriously don't

will things go back to normal? hopefully

so many questions in my mind! ugghhh, i hate not knowing what to do! like i can't make my own decision or something. i can! i think. i hope it's the right one though. omg, what if i screw up? what if things go reeally wrong? i seriously do not know what to do. ok i need to think. why oh why do i have to be the one who sucks at making her own decision? why do i count on people on this one thing which i should be able to do myself?! it's just so frustrating!

watching you is the only drug i need...

worth the pain :)

man it fels good to work out. seriously. the pain in your legs just makes you feel awesome like you can feel the muscles and makes you feel so good that you're actually doing something. it's definately been awhile since i felt like this and i am loving it. another thing i love, swings! its just awesome when after all the jogs and runs, you just feel the breeze on your face and watch the day turn dark and you're left all alone in a quiet aura. so peaceful. 

the holidays are just sooo freaking boring! i have no idea what to do. it's just so boring at home and i'm just getting so sick of bloody aeon since well, if we ever wanna go out anywhere, that's the place and it's just kinda annoying now. planning to go to sunway so we'll see how that works out. i wanna go bowling and ice skating cos well as lame as it sounds, i have never done both so yea. 

you have got no idea how awkward it was to pass by 'the place'

watching you is the only drug i need...

it's a really small world. unfortunately

it's been awhile but umm, here i am? i have got no idea how to start this post so yea excuse the lameness. changed my template but lets see how long this will last. cos im not so sure about it. i like it for now though :)
i really should be sleeping now since its one in the morning but im just not sleepy. besides, that's like my routine now anyway. sleep late and wake up really late. lol, woke up at exactly12.55 pm today and the rest of the day was just soo fast which was expected since i spent the whole morning sleeping anyway! i seriously need to get everything back in order.


went to taman rakyat today after god knows how long! funny thing is i live so close, like seriously, walking distace but i hardly ever go. so yea went there today to jog and of all the days, it had to be today that i see people i preferably not want to see. some people were okay but then there were also some which i just i dunno, tried to run away from? haha i dunno why i didnt just want to walk past them or this certain person to be exact. instead i decided to walk back from where i came eventhough i knew we were walking the wrong way. coward much? why does everybody need to go to taman freakin rakyat? there are so many stupid mosquitoes anyway! i saw tuition mates, school mates, neighbours, someone who i think i know but at the same time i don't, and even my friend's father! all the while i was like " please don't see me, please don't see me" because well, i felt shitty and i dunno, i'm just a girl with very weird issues. man was i glad to walk out of that place when we were done but i think i'm going there again tomorrow. -.- 


okay i think i should go sleep now and at least try to wake up early tomorrow. hopefully. 


please dont be there, please dont be there...

watching you is the only drug i need...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME? :D

I'M FIFTEEN!

as much as i can't believe that i am, well, i am. i don't feel fifteen. actually i dont really know how i'm supposed to feel cos umm, i feel the same. i mean, technically it's like any other day, i do all the same things. the only thing which makes it feel like my birthday is the cakes, presents and wishes. 


the guys at school bought a cake which was so sweet of them. i really don't like all the attention but it wasn't that bad other than the fact that they sang at the canteen and i think everyone was looking! hey, you can't blame me for not wanting to make a big deal out of the day. i never want to anyway. like i said, i just don't like all the attention. yea it's a little weird i guess i mean, who dosn't like to celebrate their birthday right? well apparently, me :) oh and i got tons of wishes on facebook which oh so brightens my day especially the ones from unexpected people. hehe *smiles widely* ok so i was looking for one specific person's wish but whatever. i knew i wouldn't be getting it anyway so no surprise there. it would have been nice though. :( i don't know why i'm actually expecting it. so stupid!

watching you is the only drug i need....

okay-ish performance

yeaa.... cathecatical night, wasn't that great. well, we weren't that bad i think but still we weren't that awesome either. i'm just speaking on behalf of us singing group of course cos the dance group..... they were well kinda awesome! okay not kinda, they were! i dunno why its so hard for me to say that. lol oh well thank gosh it's all over now and thinking back about that day, most of the audience were old people anyway so yea, i guess it's not that bad. and at least the place was dark so hopefully they couldn't see my face clearly. i was at the side anyway. haizzzz, hopefully....

watching you is the only drug i need...

dying of boredom!

i'm starting to think that maybe life after pmr is not that great. i mean yea, i have nothing to study but that's the whole problem. this whole year my life was filled with studying, doing revisions, tuition and school so now that i dont need to do any of it, its just nothing. yea there's tv and computer and i get to go out a lot but i can only do it for so long until i get sick of it and i think i am starting to get sick of it. and school, oh gosh it's like soooo boring there! well it wouldn't be that bad if they let us stay in our own classes and do whatevere we want, but nooo. instead they keep us in the dewan and give us stupid activities to do. like todaay, i have got no idea why i decided to go cos it was just a bad bad idea. we were in the dewan, as usual and i hate being there cos sitting there too long hurts my butt. lol but yea. so the afternoon session counsellor lady asked us to draw our family tree. like wth right? i mean we're not 7! and to make things even worse she drew her own family tree and started babbling bout her family and how her mum always favoured her sister and younger brotherand how she had to always cook for them and yadaa yadaa yaada. seriously, that is no way to spend time after pmr's over! i'm just planning to not go to school ever till the last day but obviously my dad will totally not agree. i think he hates it when i don't go and i seriously dont know why. maybe i'm wasting electricity and all. lol


so we have this cathecatical night in church. basically it's like our concert day you know where each class performs something. yea my class.... we're totaly not prepared because well we had pmr to focus on then, and well, n one really wants to coorperate which is just so annoying! i mean, would it hurt if you just shut up for a few seconds and plan on what we should do? but after a little persuation from our teacher we had to make up our mind on what we're gonna do which was singing cos that's like the easiest thing to as we'll be in a group and we can just pick a really easy song and practise ourselves at home. well there were some of them who wanted to do a play and dance but i mean come on, we so do not have the time since we only had a week left to practise but some of them really wanted to dance and i was like nuh uh am i attending the thing if we're gonna dance so we decided to just split to two and do both so now its us singing and them dancing. hope everything turns out well, we're gonna be singing "take it all" and "awesome god" by hillsong so lets just hope this dosnt end up a disaster like all the other performances we did.

watching you is the only drug u need...

Glamnation Tour here i come.. NOT!

i hate today. hate it! absolutely hate it! it could have been like any other ordinary day but nooo. okay so there i was after school all exhausted cos of the sleeping really late but woke up really early for school so i was having a short nap. okay well not that short but yea when my dad called like around 5.45 pm. i thought you know he was just calling to check up on us when he was like "you like adam lambert right?' so me in my half asleep voice was like "umm i guess.. why?" then he was like "okay listen, i have four tickets to go watch his concert so find people who you wanna go with. fast!" then i said "omg really?! wow! umm okay but why.." then it hit me that the concert was errr today! and i only had like two more hours till it started and it's all the way at kl! and then there was also the really big problem which was transportation as my dad obviously couln't send me cos he was working! so in that little time i had left i called almost everyone i knew. i literally went through the contacts in my phone and called almost everyone. even people whoom i had lost contact to. yup i was that desperate. unfortunately time waits for no man and it was soon closing in on me and yea, right then when i had like half an hour more before the thing started, i knew i had no choice but to just give up and honestly, it sucked like hell. i felt like a total loser! i didn't even remember that that the concert was today and honestly, if my dad didn't say we had tickets it would have been totally fine cos i didn't giva a rats shit about it all along but to think that i was so close to going but didn't yea that is a total bummer. so yea here i am now, reading tweets from JJ and Ean bout how awesome it is and the amount of people there. its like they're rubbing it in my face! uurgh stupid twitter. i don't know why but suddently i really wanna go for paramore's concert on the 19th if i'm not mistaken.


hmm, well since i'm talking about concerts might as well make myself feel better by talking about the Arthur's Day celebration. it was okay actually. oh who am i kidding, it was totally AWESOME! so i was a lil late cos of the stupid traffic jam and all and unfortunately i missed pop shuvit and mizz nina but whateva. i don't really care bout them anyway. Colby was just o-my-wow hawt! and he played the guitar which just added to his hotness. he even threw the jacket he was wearing to some lucky person! just imagine his perfume scent and sweat mixed together in that jacket and some lucky bitch got it! okay i know it may sound a lil disgusting especially the sweat part but i bet you wouldn't think so if you had it. Sean Kingston and flo-rida were equally awesome. they had a few lucky people on stage with them and i was seriously oh so close to touching flo-rida. he was just like on even a centimetre away but there were so many people pushing to touch him as well so yea i didn't get to. Kingston picked three lucky girls to go onstage with him and sang 'beautififul girls' to them. how lucky can they get right?! they ended it with all the performers coming onstage and singing happy birthday to Arthur and shouting "to Arthur!" followed by an awesome fireworks display. it was just so beautiful and and Colby o'donis looked so hot! there was also this other hot guy who's name i don't know. he performed with Flo-rida together with his group who's name i also forgot. lol, dayumn he was hot! other then the performers there were also quite a number of hot guys at the concert. well lets just say the sight was just wow. haha what? i'm fifteen. it's normal to drool over guys sometimes.


i know i know maybe right now you're thinking so what if this girl didn't get to go for Adam Lambert's show? she bloody hell went for Arthur's Day. isn't that like more then enough? well that's what i got from some people but just because you got lucky once doesn't mean you can't get lucky again right? i mean i'm so grateful that i got to go for Arthur's Day this year and last but that doesn't mean i can't be sad and moan about not being able to go for Adam Lambert's show. it is a VIP ticket i'm talking about. oh yea i forgot to mention that. so you see, why shouldn't i moan and be in a totally bad mood right now?! haizz but i better shake this off. it's not that big of a deal anyway. so what if im here crapping about all this when i could be there? owh who am i kidding, fuck everything that has got to do with anything!

watching you is the only drug i need...

ITS OVER BABY!

okay so finally pmr is OVER! all this time i've been crapping bout how many more days there was left and how totally unprepared i was but to think that it actually is wow. makes you realise how time flies whether you like it or not but in this case obviously i do. so now i guess its time to PARTAY!


PMR was okay i guess. i mean i thought the trials paper were tougher but i dunno, i'm not saying anything. i'm kinda scared for my bm as i crapped in my karangan part but then again, don't i always? lol.. science paper two was also kinda tough and kh, well no need to say. i kept skipping from one question to another hoping it'll get easier but nop. gosh okay lets just not talk about that anymore. i'm getting kinda nervous.


hmm, so many things to do. i can finally go out without feeling guilty that i'm not studying, read as many novels as i want, watch tv and surf the net the whole day and skip school for fun! it's gonna be awesome. i don't even know where to start. i'd probably sleep like there's no tomorrow i mean after all, sleeping is so my thing. it's like one of the thing's i'm good at. i know, i know anyone can sleep but trust me when i say i bet i can so beat you to it. haha, i'm that confident. wish i was that confident for my results. ah damn, i'm going back there again! okay skip that. uurgh now i can't think of anything else. umm lets see, facebook! yes facebook, i should go activate it now. i lasted like more or less two months and 21 days. not bad eh? i didnt think i could do it though but now i dunno, i feel like it's not that great anyway and if i activate it, i'm just gonna waste my time there again which is totally useless. this is so a pros and cons moment. okay i'm gonna do something totally useless now since i have nothing useful  to do.

watching you is the only drug i need...

mugging so helps!

before i say anything else lemmie me just say... 11 more days till pmr! but seriously all i care right now is there's only 18 more days till it's over. way to look at the bright side huh? it actually helps cos it makes you feel a lil better and less pressured.

anyways, i got tickets for Arthur's Day which is tommorow. yay me! well yay my dad actually cos he;s the one who got it but yeah. it's just at the suckiest time cos pmr's in a week but what the hell. right? mizz nina, colby o'donis, sean kingston and flo-rida are gonna be there. i went last year and the black eyed peas performed and it was one helluva night so i'm just guessing this year is gonna be as awesome as ever. now the only problem, i have no idea what to wear! life is just filled with problems when you're a girl! the dress code is black party chic and you may think it's not that bad cos well, who dosn't have black right? well apparently i don't. not anything suitable for this anyway and shopping is definately out unless i wanna hear a lecture from my dad that i have too many clothes already and shopping is just not necessary. obviously it's not necessary cos shopping = money and he'll have to send me which to him is probably something leceh. man i wish i could drive. hope i'll find something to wear in time.


bathing... seems like such a lazy thing to do right now. i just don't wanna get up from where i am. got tuition later summore. haizzz. why can't we humans just do eveything in one place. oh wait a minute, then things will just get disgusting. you know with the shitting and all. lol okay scratch that thought then. i've been doing maths almost the whole day and my brain feels so unfunctionable which is bad cos need to study sejarah. yea sejarah! my dad keeps telling me to quit mugging but i just can't help it. i feel like there's still so much i don't know. and besides i think mugging kinda helps especially this time round. okay well i seriously need to go bathe before my mum starts babbling. haha i hope my parents never accidently happen to find out that i have a blog and decide to read it cos i'll be in deep shit if they do!

watching you is the only drug i need

if only the past could be undone...

should i?? i mean you'd probably never do it for me so why bother. right? i can't believe i'm even having this thought. i should be mad, outraged, feeling dispicable and hatred but all i feel is what if things were different? what if none of this ever happened then i wouldn't give a rats shit bout any of this nonsense. you know what, no. i'm not gonna do it since i probably didn't mean anything to you anyway. yeah. oh wow, it just hit me! i'm nothing to you aren't i? duuhh! you don't deserve to even be in my thoughts so just get out already! huh, easier said than done..

watching you is the only drug i need...

i'm a slacker!

holidays.. great for wasting time and even if you are determined as ever that you're not gonna, you eventually end up doing something really stupid and there you go, a total waste of time. i seriously gotta get my head in the game and focus on doing my final revisions (yea right final more like just revisions) for pmr but i just can't! there's just too many distractions and i dunno, it's just me lah! i'm sucha slacker and i really shouldn't be as there is only umm 20 freaking days left!! (omg i'm panicking. okay deep breaths..) 7A's just seems so so so impossible right now. uugh curse you stupid pmr!
okay, lets just not talk bout that anymore. ermm holidays, well like i said before it's great for wasting time which is exactly what i did the first week. lets see i had prayers at home which meant i was kinda busy preparing for it (excuses..) then there was raya. went to athirah's place and the food was just wow. delicious! especially the rendang and the chicken sambal and the lemang with lemak and the cookies!! oh wait a minute i just named all the food there. haha shows that everything was just mouth watering and you can just keep on eating and eating and eating..... i have pictures but i'm kinda lazy to upload cos it'll probably take a really long time to upload everything so some other time lah.
looks like this is all i have for now and besides gotta go hit the books. well try to anyway.


can we pretend that airplanes in the night skies are like shooting stars,
i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now....

watching you is the only drug i need...

say whatcha wanna say

somtimes i feel so helpless and stupid. i shouldn't be fretting over something that's not worth it but i dunno, i just can't help it. call me stupid, idiotic, lifeless, desperate or whatever you want but like i said,  i'm just effing helpless right now and i seriously do not give a damn bout what you think 'cos you know nothing. just when i thought i'm gonna be okay there's always something or someone reminding me about it. wow i feel like screaming!

watching you is the only drug i need...

there goes my sleep!

doubt - to be undecided, to fear, to be apprehensive


i hate this feeling. you spend hours thinking of what's right and what's wrong and even after you've made your decision, you're still capable of changing your mind which is just so annoying. and for every wrong thing you do you have to face he consequences even if you didn't mean to do it. that's just so not fair! sometimes people make mistakes by the decision they make and sometimes it's just not their fault because they freaking don't know what to do and sometimes there's just freaking no one to help them on what they should do. stupid doubts. it just has to come in and ruin everything. okay maybe sometimes by having doubts you actually change your mind and make good decisions but for now in this case, i hate it. uurrgh, there's goes my sleep!

watching you is the only drug i need...

start accepting, people!

Here we are now, us Malaysians with 53 years of freedom. We have this new concept thingy called 1 Malaysia but not many people actually believe in it. maybe that's because we don't actually potray this. 1 Malaysia is suppose to be about acceptance. acceptance among us multi racial people where one race embraces the other races without looking at their colour, language, tradition or belief so that we will be able to live with mutual respect for each other as a nation. we got our independence together as one so why are there people who still think that the other races were never a part of us being where we are today? we are are what we are today because we worked together not one race more and the other less. i don't know why there are some people who only cares about their race and look down on others. this is not your country alone. its ours. so why don't you just wake up and start behaving like how us malaysians are suppose to behave. with acceptance.


huh, lets just hope all this racism and kutuk-ing other races or religion stops because it's just well, very bastardlike and annoying. anyways, moving on to not so touchy matters umm merdeka walk. right. the walk was awesome. we walked around Klang with Jalur Gemilangs, singing patriotic songs and shouting "merdeka!" There were drivers who would honk their vehicles as loud as ever and wave at us. it was wonderful looking at the spirit us interactors and also some of us malaysians had. there were also some people who just passed us looking at us like we were freaks or something. like wth? thinking about it, i'm actually proud that i got to do something like this instead of just sitting at home lazying around doing nothing.


so after all the walking with our faces drenched with sweat and screaming the hell out of us, it was time for the performance! as usual, something just had to go wrong. we couldnt play our minus one so we had to sing without music oh and to make things worse, the mike system was kinda sucky. Luckily, scott borrowed a guitar from someone so he'll play while we sing but he did'nt know how to play the chorus. that's when it hit me that we were totally screwed. why? umm lets see, we only practised for more or less two hours, a day before we had to perform so we sometimes mixed up the words, no music and the audience probably won't be able to hear us cause we're not using a mike. great huh?


well we went up there anyway and sang. yeeaaa, the first part wasnt that great. oh who am i kidding, it was horrible! but lucikly after the rapping part and the final chorus parts, it was kinda okay. like not that bad. i think. i was just trying not to look at anyone and thinking to myself when i was singing. i was like, "uuu look at the grass, it's so green here and then look at nicole, beqah, and then thinking oh wow i'm embarrsing myself in front of a hot guy, great!" hahaha, yea all those things were in my mind when i was singing. well, i'm just glad that's over and note to self: never ever in your freaking mind do something like that again!

you're amazing just the way you are <3

i hate umbrellas!

crazy and retarded. two very simple words to describe today. went to nicole's friend scott's house after school with nicole and rebeqah to practise for tomorrow's merdeka walk. we're singing "Here In My Home!" so yea, we walked there from school. he lives in taman gembira btw and yea that's not exactly near but not so far also lah. so on the way we started being well, retards. we started singing songs from spongebob. well actually we were singing the "campfire song" again and again and again literally screaming out the song on the road side like it was our father's road or something. lol. then we finally reached his place and whoa he has a huge house! so yea after all the 'practising', ok well we didnt do much but still something right? we had to walk back to school again. best thing was it was starting to rain and we had to walk quickly so that we won't be late. so we borrowed two umbrellas and i just had to get the huge one. it was seriously big and well honestly speaking i dont really know how to use an umbrella cause i'll just end up hurting the person beside me with it. haha poor beqah, she jadi mangsa! mwahaha. anyways, we continued our journey. with the singing of course and it was even louder and crazier this time. screw the people who looked at us weirdly. oh and in the end i had to bring the umbrellas home -.- i had to be the nice one. haha. well lets hope all our practise pays off tomorrow. hope we'll perform awesomazingly :)

watching you is the only drug i need...

poker face

it's so hard to kep smiling
and denying what i feel
i don't know why,
a thousand reasons i have none;
i can't go on like this,
pretending everything is fine
when all i wanna do is just cry...

watching you is the only drug i need<3

so close yet so far

okay, so trials are over. finally. now to just get pmr over and done with. life is just so pressuring at the moment. Anyways, so today was our last paper for trials, KH. Since our exam was starting late, i was just going through and doing last minute revisions when a teacher came in asking where was her book as she misplaced it in our class. i had to bring myself into trouble and said that i saw a teacher taking the book. how was i suppose to know that coincidently, the two teachers cant get along. after that was total drama. me and beqah was brought to the principal's office cause we were the witnesses. it was so awkward in there. i
felt like i did a crime or something. the funiest part was she was right there in her seat checking her pens to see whether they were filled and we were just there trying not to laugh. there was a world map there so we started naming countries while she was just there. we even started comparing her to Dumbledore. yeaa, so not like him. he's so much cooler. so yea i think what i'm trying to say is, who knew even teachers have drama going on in the teachers room.well, its nice to know something. after all, who dosent like gossip?

the rest is still unwritten...

of all the subjects, this?!

MATHS...a subject that i think i'll never learn to love. i totally

suck in it. no matter what i try to do, nothing goes in my so called

brains. its just so frustrating sometimes!

 

the rest is still unwritten...

is it that hard to order a roti canai these days?

it started out as a normal saturday morning where i tell
myself "okay i'm gonna wake up early and do some studying"
but it always ends up me snoozing my alarm. -.- anyways,
since that was a failure i got ready for tuition and waited
for daddy to come. i waited, and waited, and waited, until
eventually he came but ooops, i was freakin half an hour late!
it was just embarrasing entering the class and someone actually
said "wah damn early la!" pffft, yea rub it in my face will ya! all
i could do was give this clumsy apologetic look to my teacher.
after all that was over rebeqah, elaine and charenpreet decided
to go to moden to eat so i just tagged along as i wanted to try the
oh so famous roti canai which they say is the awesomest in klang.
to me it tastes like any other roti canai but yea. the funniest part
was when we wanted to order but no one was there as all the waiters
were i dunno at the corner somewhere. Beqah went first and called
"annai" but nothing. she tried it again by asking charen to turn and
her shouting so that it looked like charen was calling so that she
would'nt have to embarras herself but still nothing. that was when
we started with the name calling from annai to bhaiya to abang to
yo bro! *one malaysia mah..*but still nothing! like wth right? as usual
in the end i had to be the so called matured one *grins widely* and
just shouted "ANNAI!!" which made the people beside us stare. hehe
ooops but hey at least the man finally heard us :) oooh and we also
some hot guys xD after that was same old same old as i went back and here
i am now 'trying' to study.

the rest is still unwitten...

wake up call?

"to think i easy. to act is hard. but the hardest thing
is to act in accordance with your thinking"
-Goethe

ahh how so very true.. it's always easy to think or say what
you want but to actually make it a reality is not always that
easy. DETERMINATION is one way to solve it but too bad
i seem to be lacking in that. uurgh, WAKE UP SHEENA!!

the rest is still unwritten...

thanks for nothing

you're nothing but a balless ass. such a waste of time, seriously!

the rest is still unwritten....

second life

okay so here i am. again.
my addiction in reading random people's blog has nudged me again and thanks to that, i've decided to give this thing another shot. afterall, its all memories. you never know maybe in 20 years time i'll be reading this god knows maybe my kids would be reading this.. okay, skip that. so yea, i guess you get my point why i'm here again.
it may be a wrong time since i have pmr in about a month or so but ahhh... i can hit myself and regret later. lets just hope this time my blog wont be as dead as the last one.

p.s: i may need to warn you that i crap alot:)

the rest is still unwritten...